Exploding Bricks
by Hip Neptune
Summary: Things get spicy when Kamek brings a pile of explosive bricks into the Koopa dining room, forcing Bowser, Clawdia and the Koopalings to tell the truth. One-shot.


**NOTES: This is 100% HUMOR oriented, and does not reflect my view on canon in any way. This original idea of humorous consequences for lying's not mine (there's a great fanfic on here that I need to find that inspired this in a way), although it IS my idea to have exploding bricks. Rated T for some drug mentions; be warned**!

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One evening in Castle Koopa, as the Koopas were all eating dinner, Kamek teleported in with nine stacks of bricks, each stack containing seven bricks. In confusion, the Koopas all look at Kamek as he places the stacks on a separate table.

"Kamek!" Bowser shouted, "What is this?"

"These?" Kamek questioned, "Oh! These are my Lyin' Bricks, and I'm using them to repair the Castle's foundation!"

"Why not put them down now?" the king questioned.

"Because, I want to ask you guys," Kamek replied, "What did you all do today?"

The nine koopas exchange confused looks before Iggy speaks up.

"I worked more on my inventions today!" Iggy replied, causing a brick in the red stack to explode into colorful, goopy ink. The koopas all flinch as some of the red dye lands on them.

"… Da hell?" Roy questioned as he wipes the gunk from his shades, "I went to school, and I didn't beat up anyone either!"

Two bricks in the pink pile of bricks explode, sending shards of glass all over the room. Muffled yelps of pain then occur.

"Uhh… Ow," Ludwig rubbed his arm, "I took a test today, and I got a 96 on it. No, I didn't cheat, as cheating's for imbeciles."

A brick in the brown pile explodes, releasing fireballs all over the room. The male Koopalings all cower while Wendy, rolling her eyes, casts a tidal spell to extinguish the fires.

"… I have wimps as brothers," Wendy sighed, "I bought a beautiful dress at Koopa Designer Warehouse today! I even created my own line of dresses from scratch!"

Two bricks in the purple pile explode, flinging blooper ink at the Koopas.

"I…" Morton attempted to speak before spitting out some ink, "I went to the gym today. Love the good workouts."

A brick in the grey brick pile shatters, releasing sand all over the dining room.

"Sand, eww! Try ice!" Lemmy screamed in disgust before telling about his day, "I didn't go to school. I faked sick so I can retake a test on Friday instead of today. I got good studying in!"

A blue brick in its pile then explodes, releasing pellets of dry ice all across the dining room. Every koopaling, even Lemmy, yelps at the painful substance.

"Sheesh, that hurts!" Larry cried, "I took care of my plants today, and I sold my produce at the market!"

Two green bricks explode, releasing fertilizer and reznor manure across the room. The Koopas, even Kamek, all plug their nose in disgust as they attempt to wash themselves from the literal crud.

"Gross!" Wendy screamed, "Kamek! What the HELL are you doing?!"

"Eh heh heh," Kamek laughed, "You seven Koopalings all told lies! Whenever you tell a lie, your color-coded brick explodes! Larry's green, Morton's grey, Wendy's purple, Iggy's red, Roy's pink, Lemmy's blue, Ludwig's brown, King Bowser's black and Queen Clawdia's white. Whoever's first to lose all their bricks before dinner ends, gets grounded!"

"But I do the grounding!" Bowser hollered. Kamek simply waves a finger to him.

"Uh uh. Remember, I raised you, Bowser."

Bowser mumbles as Kamek smiles to the group.

"NOW. Tell us what you REALLY did today! Ludwig!"

"Uhh… I did get a 96… But… I sort of cheated…" Ludwig confessed. No bricks blew up, but Bowser glares at his eldest son.

"Lemmy?"

"Fine… I was having phone sex with Roy's girlfriend… That's why I faked sick," Lemmy cried, but no bricks exploded.

"WHAT?!" Roy seethed as he clenches his fist and shows it to Lemmy, "You're gettin' a poundin', punk! Kylie's with me!"

"Roy…" Wendy rolled her eyes, "She cheated on you, idiot. Worry about your relationship first!"

"I don't have to!" Roy continued seething, "She loves me!"

A pink brick explodes, sending shards of glass throughout the room.

"…" Roy sat still, speechless.

"Roy? You're not exactly an angel yourself. What did you do today?" Kamek grinned.

"Uhh… Whatever! I was at the back of da abandoned Koopa Mart, smokin' fire flowers and gettin' high with Larry and Morton!" Roy admitted, resulting in no bricks exploding, "And I did beat up someone! Dat dealer sucker tried overpricin' me!"

"I was not smoking with you!" Larry cried out, resulting in another green brick exploding. Everyone, now covered in another layer of reznor manure, glares at Larry.

"LARRY! Stop lying!" Roy shouted, "Or I'll POUND you when I pound Circus Freak over there also!"

"Fine! I was there!" Larry sobbed, "Sorry!"

"Good, good," Kamek smirked, "Iggy?"

"Uhh… I was stealing ideas from E. Gadd!"

When no red bricks exploded, Kamek then turns to Wendy, who then grumbles.

"I was on a date with my boyfriend that Dad doesn't know about! And fine, I stole the clothes line from Peach! But she deserved it!"

The males snicker while Bowser glares at his daughter.

"You kids are a disgrace!" Bowser roared, "When I was your age, I NEVER cheated on tests, had phone sex with my brother's girlfriend, got high off fire flowers, stolen anything, or taken boys out on dates!"

Five black bricks explode, sending chunks of newly-formed obsidian rock shards throughout the dining room. The Koopalings and Clawdia all laugh while Bowser facepalms and grumbles to himself.

"Hahahaha!" Clawdia laughed, "I baked today! And cooked some more."

No white bricks exploded, much to the amusement of Kamek.

"Well… Clawdia," Kamek exclaimed after his giggling fit ended, "Looks like you didn't lose a single brick! Congratulations!"

"Aww, thanks! Lying doesn't really come out in me. It appears these kids got their lying habit from Bowser!" Clawdia replied with a smile, "After all, all seven of them are Bowser's kids!"

As she finishes her sentence, all seven of her white bricks explode, releasing a pungent perfume into the air…

Guess who's getting grounded by Kamek.


End file.
